Written by Hannah Eaton, M.S., LMFT
I grew up in one of those families that emphasized goal setting and doing your personal best.
My father was, and continues to be one of the most goal-oriented people I know. From climbing mountains, to pursuing higher education, to finishing marathons (even when he tears a ligament in the first mile), he loves to set and complete goals.
So, when it came to New Years, you can only guess what our family was doing. While my friends were off playing games and throwing confetti, my dad was sitting us down around our dining room table with pen and paper in hand to write out our goals for the year. They didn’t have to be big or fancy, but they had to be something we came up with.
As a kid, I remember my evolving thoughts around this concept of goal-setting. While I often would have preferred to be running around outside in the snow instead of sitting at that table, I grew to appreciate and practice this ritual even on years that my family forgot or if I was celebrating elsewhere. Plus, my family also made sure to carve out time to play, so sitting at that table for 30 minutes wasn’t all that bad.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is the value of goals to aid us prioritizing the people, things, and experiences that bring us purpose, meaning, and joy. Life can just whirl past, or we can choose to pursposefully pursue the things and people that are most important to us.
Since those round-table family-goal-setting days, my rituals around entering the New Year have shifted and evolved, and I’m sure will continue to evolve over the years. Through the experiences in my own family, joining my husbands family, and being part of a diverse community of friends and colleagues, I have adopted new rituals and practices. I have come to find incredible value in taking time to reflect on and honor the highs and lows of the past year, to celebrate in the present moment, and to explore how I want to show up in the world in the year ahead.
As we’re preparing to enter this new decade, I wanted to share a few practices I’ve found helpful in marking the transition to a new year.
REFLECT (Past).
Take some time to journal and reflect on the past year. Where have you been? What were some of your major highs, lows, and memories? How have you grown or changed in the past year? What are you proud of yourself for doing? You might even consider going through pictures you have taken in the past year to remind you of where you’ve been.
CELEBRATE (Present).
Reflection and goal-setting are great, but so is celebrating in the present moment. Take some time to celebrate the present moment in a way that will bring you joy. There’s no “right” way to do this, but rather, do what feels meaningful and joyful.
DREAM (Future).
Set aside some time and space to pull that journal back out to explore the upcoming year. Where do you want to envision yourself in the next year and beyond? What have you been longing to experience more of, but has been on the backburner for months or years? What are three small steps you can take in the first quarter of the year to live out your preferred story for yourself? Don’t worry about creating perfect, life-changing goals, but rather, be curious about little nudges and longings that you can cultivate in daily life.
Wishing you a Happy New Year, and a wonderful start to a new decade!